The Acolyte: Jedi, Sith, cool helmets, and Great Fights!

The Acolyte episodes 3 to 6 recap and thoughts. Things get all feisty!

The Acolyte

I’m enjoying the Acolyte. It’s fun and has lots of Jedis fighting, other force users, and general zappy Star Wars stuff. I already reviewed the first two episodes, which you can read here. It hasn’t been perfect, but it’s great fun and I’m hoping certain things get resolved. There are spoilers below…

As things stand, quite a few questions need to be answered. Some are the larger obvious questions, such as: What did the Jedi do that was so bad back in the day? How did Mae survive? How does such a simple helmet look so cool? These will clearly be explained.

However, there are others that have put the internet into a tizzy- not a particularly difficult feat, granted, people are delicate these days. But some questions are valid. How did the whole temple burn, and everyone die, from just one small fire? Why were all the bodies just lying around, with none seeming burned? (This was in Episode 3 Destiny).

Unlike the easily riled on the internet who said they hate The Acolyte because they couldn’t immediately answer these questions and will then publicly quit only to whine a week later, I am going to give the show some credit. The fire is unlikely to have started with Mae’s small arson attempt, and the dead probably died from something else. 

Also, let’s be honest, most of the haters appeared when two lesbian witches appeared. They seem to feel bad about their homophobia, and as misery loves company, they try to review bomb everything.

Anyway, as I said after the review of the first two episodes, I was going to give it a chance. And I am glad I did.

The Acolyte – A recap of episodes three to six


Episode 3 – Destiny

This is the episode that seems to have caused all the controversy. It is all about Osha and Mae when they were little kids, 16 years before the show starts. They live with a coven of witches and this episode seems to be the one that triggered all the homophobes and incels. Because two of the witches are gay. Statistically, around 1 in 20 people are gay, so it is likely that a coven of over 20 women would feature a gay character or two. But – cue lots of “I’m not homophobic but…” comments. 

Another thing that seems to have annoyed people is that the twins were created from the Force, aka Magic. We know this is possible because Anakin was created by the Force. At the time, I hated the idea, just as I hated the Midichlorians. This was because Vader was supposed to be a badass and it would have been fascinating to see who his dad was. It felt like a cop out. In this case, who gives a shit?

And then there’s the fire. People are review bombing the show and trying to act like they aren’t triggered by wokeness, it is just that there are plot holes like a tiny fire burning everything down and killing everyone. 

BUT – given that there are still a couple of episodes to go, and we don’t really know what happened with the fire and the Jedi, it seems idiotically premature to decide this is a plot hole. It seems very likely it will be explained and the viewpoint we saw was flawed – like the Rashomon effect. I might be wrong though. This leads to two outcomes for me:

1/ They don’t explain how a fire can kill everyone and leave their bodies non-crispy. The fire just kinda did it. This would confirm the haters are right and incredibly prescient, and I am wrong. In which case, kudos to you guys, maybe you aren’t stupid for hating a show that is halfway through.

2/ The dead bodies and the fire aren’t the result of Mae’s little flame. Maybe it is something to do with what the Jedi did? Or the fight back from the witches? Or maybe even the witches fight the Stranger? I think this will be the case, but as I said above, maybe I’m an idiot. If they do explain it though, then the haters who named this a plot hole are the idiots. Time will tell.

Anyway, the whole episode was a flashback that answered some questions but not others. The witch ceremony, where One of the kids get a magic tattoo was a bit awkward. When do they choreograph this stuff? Mind you, the witches don’t seem to have much else to do.

On the whole though, I quite enjoyed the episode. I like seeing how different groups use the Force. Not everyone becomes a Jedi, and some can be incredibly powerful without training. Look at Leia.


Episode 4 – Day 

This was an ok episode that doesn’t seem controversial or woke in any way. It didn’t feel like a legendary episode though. Essentially, everyone gathers on a planet to go and see a Jedi Wookie called Kelnacca. Which sounds awesome! A Wookie Jedi would be uber hardcore. 

Qimir is there with Mae. I was suspicious of him when he was easily able to hold Mae back earlier, and doubly so when he was needed to find the Wookie. But who cares right? As long as they get to meet a cool Wookie Jedi! 

Ok, spoiler – Kelnacca, the Wookie Jedi, was killed off screen. Presumably because people are fed up with Jedi and Sith fighting to cool music and leaping around. Just kidding. No one is bored of that. 

The episode ends with a load of Jedi facing a clearly powerful as balls Sith Lord. They’re going to fight and- 

Credits… 


Episode 5 – Night 

Osha wakes up in the forest where the fight had been happening at the end of the last episode. I’m not going to lie, I was disappointed. People fighting each other in Star Wars is always great and after the let-down of Kelnacca getting killed off-screen, I was hoping for some action. 

I was concerned that she would find lots of people dead already. Happily, I was massively wrong. In the end, the entire episode was full of great fights. It also shows that Sith training far surpasses that of the Jedi. They just fight better and seem to win a lot. 

However, the Sith also learn angry victimhood and advanced ‘everyone is picking on me’, while the Jedi have degrees in self satisfaction and patronisation. You can see why some choose to go it alone.

Episode 5 – Night – was a lot of fun with a lot of action. There was also a surprising amount of death. The body count has certainly trimmed the cast, with characters I was getting to know and even remember the names of, getting killed. There were also some extra Jedi hanging around who weren’t introduced, but seemed to have just been there to allow a Sith to show how much better he is by killing them.

Qimir being the Sith Lord wasn’t the biggest surprise. It either had to be famous character from Star Wars Lore, or someone we have already met in The Acolyte. Given Mae’s circle of buddies, that left one guy. Still, I like the actor (I saw him in A Good Place) and am glad he got a cool role in Star Wars. 

Quite why Sol doesn’t kill him is weird. I don’t get why Osha says to not kill the guy who is responsible for the death of so many Jedi, but thinks it better to risk her robot buddy and have Qimir attacked and carried away by giant flying cockroaches instead. He will clearly survive and kill more. 

Qimir’s armor is pretty cool though. It is called Cortosis and it temporarily interrupts lightsabers. It has been established before, so people can’t whine about it. 

It does means that a cool as shit Sith can head-butt a lightsaber, which is as impressive to watch as it sounds. We also learn the value of lightsabers when it comes to getting a quick haircut.


Episode 6 – Teach / Corrupt

After the actioned packed episode 5, it is time to have a breather and a bit of character development. 

Happily the old ‘switcheroo’ with the twins didn’t play out for too long. I was worried they would play with it a bit longer but it wouldn’t have made sense. Basil – the little hamster fellow with the keen sense of smell – would have noticed pretty quickly. The twins would smell different, especially after 16 years of different diets, and they probably use different space soap.

Also, Sol should eventually have detected one was full of anger and emotion. But the main telling point would probably be that one has a clearly visible tattoo on her face.

In this episode Osha wakes up on mysterious planet with the mysterious Stranger. Although he’s slightly less mysterious once he strips off and has a dip. He explains that he just wants a padawan/acolyte of his own. He says the force doesn’t have to be used solely in the manner the Jedi uses it.

Having been brought up by witches, Osha sees his point. I see his point. The Jedi can be a bit smug after all. But what hasn’t been explained yet is why just wanting an acolyte means you have to murder a ton of the only group that are most able to hunt you down. The Stranger could have done all this somewhere remote – like where they are this episode – and trained her up.

Either way, maybe Osha will see his point. I always think it is a shame that on the one hand, the Sith talk about being driven by emotion (although mostly the negative ones) and fighting back against the fairly restrictive attitudes of the Jedi. Which is fine. But on the other they are also keen on murdering everyone, even kids, from the get go. 

Meanwhile Sol sends a message to the Jedi council although he has a bit of trouble getting a signal at first, for some reason. They learn what has happened and finally get their arses in gear, popping over to Khofar to find piles of dead Jedi.

Sol has already left, however, and soon realizes that Mae, not Osha, is on his ship. So he stuns her. 

The episode ends with Osha trying on the cool-as-shit Cortosis helmet and Mae waiting for Sol to FINALLY reveal what went down on Brendok. When he does, we will learn what really happened and confirm the haters are just angry homophobic twats. 


The Acolyte – final thoughts on the last four episodes

I am enjoying the Acolyte so far. It isn’t my favorite Star Wars series, but it is fun and something I look forward to seeing each week. The idea that two lesbian witches can create twins sits fine with me, but if it fills you with rage, watch something else. I’m also watching the Boys, but the sort of person who is triggered by The Acolyte will probably be triggered by that too. My advice is to stop watching and catch up on the wrestling or whatever.

The final two episodes have a lot of explaining to do, and I look forward to seeing it.

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